had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
