question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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