State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
