Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
