why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize