I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Holy sore nipples Batman
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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