your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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