I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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