um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Randomize