You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
