Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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