Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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