Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
