Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Welp...herpes.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
