he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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