My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
