Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
