Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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