Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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