do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize