dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
