you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Randomize
