you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Girls should come with a carfax report
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
