Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
