Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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