were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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