is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
