wake up i wanna do it froggy style
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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