Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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