I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
