Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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