Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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