Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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