You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
