You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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