oh god the rape fog is back!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
