porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
