that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
is wine microwaveable?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
