you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
