Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
