well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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