Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
