There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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