do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i out mim tonsoeep
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