Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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