You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Let's get the cat blown out
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
