Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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