So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
