Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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