I seem to have left my pride at pride
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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