i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
