My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize