id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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