I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
