It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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