You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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