Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
