i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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