it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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