if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
