Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
