Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
