I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
