11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
