But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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